*Largest Selection of Hair Dye: Walgreen’s on the corner of North and Piedmont has a selection that causes me to choose the wrong color every time because it’s such an extensive collection. They have brands I’ve never heard of. They have colors I didn’t think existed, and I’ve worked in a salon before, so I thought I had seen it all.
*Coldest Beer in Town: Now, if you’re okay with your sexuality, then you won’t mind going here. I think this place is great. They have tons of Madonna and Cher in the jukebox, the bartenders are friendly, and the patrons are friendlier. Friends on Ponce (right above the Drunken Unicorn/MJQ) pours drafts that actually slush it’s so cold. Sign me up!
*Best Place to Pick Up Men: I only discovered this about a month ago, and it’s kind of a no-brainer. Taco Mac in the Highlands is crawling with men. All the time. Why? It’s a sports bar and they have a large selection of beer. And a couple of good-looking waitresses. Pick the sport you like the best, and go there during that season. You’re sure to find a single guy more than happy to talk shop with you. Stay away from the tables of men sitting alone…they’re married.
*Best Place to Pick Up Women: I know guys are dying to know this. I actually don’t have much of a clue on this one. Sorry. I’ll guess that it’s someplace that specializes in martinis, though.
*Best Burrito: There’s no shortage of burrito places in town, that’s for sure, and as much as I’m eating Moe’s lately since that’s what the man friend prefers and I’m mostly indifferent, I always go back to Chipotle. Barbacoa Fajita Burrito, please, add guac. Thanks.
*Best Place to see a Show: I was here on Sunday, and even though most of the stuff playing there is not what I prefer, Variety Playhouse is the best place. There’s not a bad seat in the house, and the sound is always incredible. On a smaller scale for local shows, I’m going with Smith’s Olde Bar, for the same reasons.
*Best Place to sing Irish songs: Limerick Junction…they have a dude with a guitar in there every night (except for open mic night on Tuesdays). But it’s so much fun to get wasted (car bombs and Guinness for everyone!) and sing those songs and clap your hands and rap your fists on the table. Bring lots of friends, because sharing is imperative.
*Best Place to Make an Ass of Yourself: I’ve found that as many times as I’ve been carried out of 10 High that no one ever seems to remember, and if they do, they certainly don’t let me know it. I’m sure it’s the dark environment, and the fact that I tend to not eat dinner before going there, but the past few times I’ve puked, I’ve spent the night drinking there. I’m sure they’re used to it with Metalsome Monday.
*Nastiest Bathrooms: Hands down the most disgusting, smelliest, bathrooms in town are found inside the Masquerade. I’m scared to sit on the toilets there because I’m certain I’ll catch something, even though experts say you can’t catch things from toilet seats. If you ever go, bring your own TP, because you probably don’t want to use theirs, unless you’re comfortable with drip drying.
*Best Place to Find Douchebags: Any bar, club, venue that has the address of “Peachtree Road.” That means Buckhead. Pick a place, any place, and it sucks just as much as the tools that frequent it.
*Best Place to Bowl: Midtown Bowl off Piedmont is loads of fun, and it’s just been renovated, so it’s nice and clean. Pitchers of beer are $9, and if you bring a couple of people with you, it’s the perfect recipe for a good time.
*Best Hamburger: This is a tough one, because I’ve always said the Vortex has the best hamburgers, but then I had a Fried Green Tomato burger at Agnes & Muriel’s a couple months ago, and it was pure heaven. That shit will cause your cholesterol to rise a couple points for about a week, but hey, it’s yummy.
*Best Place to Take a Date: As cliché as it sounds, Two Urban Licks is my most favorite place to go on a date because it’s dim, and romantic, and the food is phenomenal. They have awesome wine that they apparently make themselves, and the service is always super duper.
*Best Place to do Bad Things in Public: El Bar is this new underground bar/club behind El Azteca on Ponce, and it’s so dark in there that you could probably do the nasty out in the open and no one would bat an eye. Seriously.
*Best Radio Station: Yeah, right.
*Best Thai Food: Have you been to Panita? It’s behind Surin in the Highlands. It’s a guy’s house. I’m sure he lives there. He runs the whole place all by himself. He seats you, takes your order, cooks your food, and takes your money. I wouldn’t recommend going there if you’re in a hurry. He’s really nice, and it’s truly authentic food, so you should check it out.
*Best Blog I Miss the Most: www.fatasianbaby.com. R.I.P.
*People Who Take The Best Drunken Pictures: Like No One’s Watching. Those guys have the market and put all those hipster sites in NY to shame with the photos they snap out at shows. Brian 3000 is hot on their trail, though...
*Best Bar to Go to if You Don’t Want to Be Found: Dailey’s on International has jazz nightly, and really awesome frilly martinis. The clientele is usually out of towners staying at a nearby hotel, so locals are never in there. Don’t even think of trying to steal it from me. And probably steer clear during prom season, since that’s a popular place for the kids to go eat beforehand. The other one is Corner Tavern in Little 5. That place is awesome, and I never see anyone I know there. Love it.
*Best Place to Practice All-U-Can-Eat: There’s a place in West Midtown off Marietta, I believe it is, called Chow Baby, and it’s all you can eat stir fry. If you haven’t been to this place, get on it. And try everything. You make a bowl from their stir fry buffet, adding anything you want, they cook it and bring it to you, and then you do it all over again. I’ve only been there for a quick lunch, but I hope to get drinks and dinner there soon.
*Best Place to See Tourists: I used to think it was downtown, which I guess it is, except that I like to see how close I can come to running them over when they’re jaywalking, so that’s not the best place. It’s Little 5 Points. “Look, mom! That girl has pink hair and a ring through her nostrils!” It’s like the eclectic residents of Atlanta have become freaks in a cage over there.
*Best Place to Hit Crackheads with your Car: If you ride down North Avenue, any intersection between Glen Iris and Juniper is good for that, no matter the time of day.
*Best Bloody Mary: Thanks to Christian for introducing me to the Bloody Marys at Carroll Street Café. I HATE Bloody Marys. But these are the most scrumptious I’ve ever tasted. They are so effing delicious, and after one, you’ll be seeing double. Completely worth the money...and hangover.
3 comments:
Great list. Have you been to the new five guys in the Edgewood shopping center? You may change your mind again about the best burger in the A.
i'm going to have to say...
best place to hit crackheads for me would have to be when moreland stretches into e. atl just after hosea. coming over that hill, i've slammed the breaks many a'times.
theres a burger place on memorial (the name escapes me now). something like, ann's cafe. it's this mean old woman who yells at you when you speak without being spoken to, but makes a kick ass burger.
and i have to say, the flat iron bathroom has had puke in the sink without fail, everytime i go in there (day or night). pretty nasty, my friend.
Haven't been to the new Edgewood place yet...need to check that out when I have money.
Flat Iron is pretty nasty as it is. So that doesn't surprise me about the bathroom. I have never used it, though.
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